“You don’t get what you wish for, you get what you believe.” – Oprah
Trust in your own abilities, attributes and judgment, and you’ll live a much happier and more fulfilling life. This is what confident people do, and when their self-belief wavers, they build it back up again.
Do you ever notice that, for some people, outside factors have a significant effect, and for others, nothing could stop them? Confident people appear as though they’re always winning; they’ve got the playbook and know exactly what to do and when.
The truth is that anyone can be confident. It seems like the people who have achieved it are from all walks of life, from a busy working mom who has nailed her time management to a CEO that no longer worries about the small stuff. If you’re wondering what they know that you don’t, we’re going to uncover that for you.
Confidence is hard to define. Putting it in a box is difficult. It’s one of those things that, when you see it, you know it. Isn’t to see it to believe it?
Not exactly. To build yourself up, you need to believe it before you see it. Despite not having something tangible to grasp, you’ve got to hold on to an unwavering belief in yourself. Along the way, you’ll try and stop yourself. You may not even know that you’re doing it, but you have subconscious habits at play. Here’s what you need to look out for:
8 Habits That Hold You Back
1. Neglecting Your Appearance
To be successful, you had better look the part. When you neglect your appearance, you set up a system of failure before you even start. Don’t let your self-esteem take a hit. Paying attention to your personal hygiene and appearance goes a long way. If you’ve ever heard the saying “dress the part,” this is where it matters most.
Dress like the most confident person you know, and you’ll be ready for anything that comes your way.
2. Focusing on Your Bad Traits
When you call attention to things about yourself that you perceive as bad, you put all your attention on those things. What you overlook are the dozens of positive things about yourself.
You unintentionally tip the scale to believing you’re a failure. You’ll feel inadequate and ashamed about who you are. Instead, pay attention to what is good. Focus on the things you love over the things you hate, and you’ll tip the scale back in your favor.
When you do have a weakness in any area, frame it as an opportunity for growth. Confident people are willing to develop and are constantly learning. Next time you find yourself focusing on a failure, change that to focusing on an awareness of how you can grow.
3. Complimenting Others Too Much
This habit is a sneaky one. Isn’t it nice to compliment others? Sure, but when you overdo it, you unknowingly build a belief that others are better than you. You set yourself up with stories of how others are more important and, again, you focus on your negative traits.
Don’t believe the negative thoughts that come with this. Each one of us has good qualities, and you can compliment someone with the knowledge that you are also pretty great.
4. Saying Sorry Too Much
It’s important to apologize where necessary, but saying “sorry” too much can be a bad thing. When you overdo it, you come across as unsure of yourself. You begin to believe you’re always at fault, and you’ll lead others to think you are, too.
Sometimes “sorry” can be reframed with gratitude. Perhaps you were late to arrive. Instead of saying you’re sorry, you could say, “Thank you for your patience.” This is a reframe that turns a negative into a positive, and that’s good energy to have around you.
5. Wavering on Decisions
Something that holds you back is an inability to make a decision. It’s also a bad habit to let others decide for you. You build and develop trust in yourself by making decisions boldly and confidently, even if you’re scared.
Confident people have learned how to make decisions fast, and they follow through with them.
6. Lowering Your Standards
The habit to downgrade or accept less than what you deserve will eat away at you. This habit lowers your self-worth and, over time, it will be completely eroded. Never lower your standards. Know your values, set your standards high, and always expect the best.
7. Toxic Relationships
You can almost feel it when someone around you is negative and even toxic. They take all your energy and make it impossible to build yourself up. Toxic people don’t want others to grow.
Plan accordingly, because everyone around you impacts your self-esteem. If you are constantly belittled, your confidence will suffer. When you’re building yourself up, you want the people around you to believe in you, too. Surround yourself with people and environments that are positive.
8. Comparing With Others
This habit is at our fingertips. We have access to social media channels and other people’s highlight reels that make us feel bad about ourselves. Comparing your achievements to others will bring about jealousy and insecurities.
When you focus on what others have that you don’t, you develop a destructive mindset. Your thoughts turn to lack, and you believe at a subconscious level that you’ll never have more.
Build Yourself Up. Your Life Depends On It
It’s a hard truth, but the sooner you accept it, the better. No one is going to move you forward in life except you. You’ve got the sole power over what you do with your life. You’re responsible for living it your way and doing what you want with it. If you decide to reach for your goals or give up on them, that’s up to you.
It doesn’t matter where you come from; with a strong, positive belief in yourself, everything is probable.
Develop an awareness of bad habits. When stories play over and over in your mind, check them and put them in their place. Don’t give them attention. Don’t take them seriously. Replace negative thoughts with positive, self-fulfilling stories.
Above, we talked about what to watch out for: the behaviors and habits that set you up for staying small. Next, we’re sharing some tips on how to live the life of your dreams.
Act As If…
Acting “as if” is similar to dressing for the role. But in this case, you get to act it out. To become the person you’re growing into, you have to be that person. What would they do, and how would they act?
This may take some bravery at first, and it will take practice. The more you embody the person you want to be, the more you become them. Jim Carrey said, “You can fail at doing what you don’t love, so you might as well do what you love.”
When you believe that there are no mistakes, everything works in your favor. Confident people understand that there is no point in being stressed about a situation or focusing on what’s bad about it. When you can’t change what is, you change how you perceive it.
The belief that there are no mistakes will help you lift yourself up out of any situation and forge ahead. Sure, you might get off track, but you’re still heading in the right direction when you believe you will gain as much from a challenge as you do from winning.
You’re not defined by failure.
Daily Practice
When you build yourself up, it’s good to have practice outside of yourself. Some people take time to write out their gratitude or meditate daily. When you offer yourself up for something greater than yourself, you open yourself up to unlimited possibilities.
Take Care Of Yourself
When your cup is empty, you’ve got nothing to give. It’s critical when you are building yourself up and gaining confidence in life to pay attention to how you care for yourself. Fill your cup and keep it full. This is when you can share and offer to others without being depleted.
Master Your Own Life
Everything begins and ends with you. When you’re building yourself up, you’ll know what works for you and doesn’t. Keep your energy high. Results begin to show themselves when you master having an unwavering belief in yourself.
When you build yourself up, you develop the confidence to live a much happier and healthier life. Maybe you want to make more money, work smarter or build a team. All of that starts with building yourself first. It’s worth it.
We see this with entrepreneurs all the time. The best in digital marketing and content marketing develop self-mastery so they master external things like paid ads, social media management, and all the things required to make it in this business.
When it comes to showing up in business for your customers, you’ve got what it takes within. Getting support through business coaching, strategic business support, and content marketing helps to build up your confidence in tangible ways.
Building a business will require you to build yourself up over and over again.
The great thing is that you don’t have to do this alone. We know what it takes to succeed, and we can help you overcome the bad habits that hold you back while you develop the good ones that move you forward. We’re happy to help!